This is my curtain call.
This is it. My now or never moment. Show time!!
My blog. Alma Matters.
A couple of days ago, over dimsum, I told my son and his partner that I had decided to write a blog . His wide-eyed, disbelieving response was : ” … but why mom? What do you want to write about?”
Why? Because it matters to me. This is the novel I should have written, the CLIO award-winning ad I could have created, the book of poetry that could have been published. A life- time of could-have-beens and should-have-beens. This is me trying to make a dream come true at this stage in my life, knowing my own limitations.
What will this blog be about? It will be about the world from my perspective. It will cover many things. Some trivial. Some not. It will range from moments of epiphany, those so-called Aha! moments to variations of a favorite recipe.
Why now, he asked me.
Because I have lived in fear for so long. Fear of being inadequate, of not having any thing worthy to say, of being seen as a dreamer and at worst, a moaner using my writing as a comeback tool. Most of all, fear of disappointing those who had always believed that I have a gift. There comes a time when one has to stop being afraid. And that time is now.
My “writing” moments come at the best of times and those not-really-good ones. To be honest, mostly the latter. Unable to stand up and say what really is on my mind or in my heart, cowered by someone with a bigger voice or stick, I walk away with all these thoughts racing through my head. Funny this nearly always happens when confronted by strangers or people who do not mean a lot to me. To the ones whom I care for, the ones I truly love – there is always time to say what is closest to my heart. Perhaps not at that particular moment, but in my own time, on my own terms.
I write when I am happy too. As I take my place in the dining room, apron still on, smelling of garlic and chicken, watching my children tuck into dinner as they talk about their day, my husband happily pouring the wine. I close my eyes and say a quick prayer of thanks and note a word or two in my mind’s diary.
This is me putting it all down on paper, on the net. Weekly maybe. It all the depends on .. . inspiration, time.
At 62, I have earned the right to no longer be driven by someone else’s schedule or deadline. This is me… about to face the music… and dance!
This is my blog.
Why? Because Alma still matters. So, watch this space….