Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Curtain Call



This is my curtain call. 


This is it.   My now or never moment. Show time!!

My blog.  Alma Matters.


A couple of days ago, over dimsum, I told my son and his partner that I had decided to write a blog .  His wide-eyed, disbelieving  response was : ” … but why  mom? What do you want to write about?”


Why?  Because it matters to me.  This is the novel I should have written, the CLIO award-winning ad I could have created, the book of poetry that could have been published.  A life- time of could-have-beens and should-have-beens.  This is me trying to make a dream come true at this stage in my life, knowing my own limitations.


What will this blog be about?  It will be about the world from my perspective. It will cover many things.  Some trivial.  Some not.  It will range from moments of epiphany, those so-called  Aha! moments to variations of a favorite recipe.  


Why now, he asked me.

Because I have lived in fear for so long.    Fear of being inadequate, of not having any thing worthy to say, of being seen as a dreamer and at worst, a moaner using my writing as a comeback tool. Most of all, fear of disappointing those who had always believed that I have a gift.  There comes a time when one has to stop being afraid.  And that time is now.


My “writing” moments come at the best of times and those not-really-good ones. To be honest,  mostly the latter.  Unable to stand up and say what really is on my mind or in my heart, cowered by someone with a bigger voice or stick, I walk away with all these thoughts racing through my head.   Funny this nearly always happens when confronted by strangers or people who do not mean a lot to me.  To the ones whom I care for, the ones I truly love – there is always time to say what is closest to my heart.  Perhaps not at that particular moment, but in my own time, on my own terms.


I write when I am happy too.  As I take my place in the dining room, apron still on, smelling of  garlic and chicken, watching my children tuck into dinner as they talk about their day, my husband happily pouring the wine. I close my eyes and say a quick prayer of thanks and  note  a word or two in my mind’s diary. 


This is me putting it all down on paper, on the net.  Weekly maybe.  It all the depends on .. . inspiration, time.  


At 62, I have earned the right to no longer be driven by someone else’s schedule or deadline. This is me… about to face the music… and dance!


This is my blog. 

Why?  Because Alma still matters.  So, watch this space….





15 comments:

Unknown said...

Honest and truthful; a shining star in the midst of our cold winter in a country so foreign to many of us... Thanks for being you Alma... and only the uniquely amazing you you are. Hope to see more posts, because Alma Matters!! Carla x

aclutariopatist said...

Thanks, Carla. Your comment means a lot to me.

Valerie said...

I love Alma Matters and am so proud that you have decided to write your thoughts for all of us to read. I will look forward to your posts and as Carla says, you have such an Alma way of putting things down on paper. At 62 , it's about time! And btw, it's wonderful not having to decipher your handwriting. Congratulations, my dear friend.

cvassmer said...

Amen, yes Alma Matters not only in this blog but to me and many others! Do look forward to your posts. This is a way for me to feel closer to you and almost smell the garlic and chicken and taste the wine :)!

aclutariopatist said...

Val, can you see the smile on my face? i know ... my handwriting sucks. Can't read it myself. I have written so many things in bits of paper ... but can I read them?? Thank you ... did i say no schedules, no deadlines?? Did I just walk into this one?? xx

aclutariopatist said...

thank you carla!! i feel so good today... but, what shall i write about next?? maybe that chicken with garlic recipe!! xx

Unknown said...

I am looking forward to reading your posts. You have a lot of valuable info. to share.

Peter Annink said...

Awesome, go for it! Hugs!

Unknown said...

Go for it, Ate! Release your daily thoughts into words. We in the family know you have the gift because we see it when you write us cards, emails, your annual update. Time to share with the world!

aclutariopatist said...

thanks, peter. big hug to marisse as well!

aclutariopatist said...

thank you, cora. love ya!

Colin Davies said...

Many congrats, Alma. Lovely start. Can't even fault your punctuation! Keep it up and you will have a lot of fun and be amply rewarded. xxx

Colin Davies said...

PS: You don't look 62!

Colin Davies said...

PPS: Please post the chicken recipe.

aclutariopatist said...

Colin!! I am so happy to hear from you. Because thanks to you, I got the courage to do this. Your approval means a lot to me.

BTW, the photo is 2 years old, that's why I don't look 62 and the chicken recipe will come up shortly. I just have to decide which one. Who eats chicken without garlic?